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Huff your own excrement fermentation, poke pooping butts, talk on IRC using flash, learn about nerdy programming stuff, and draw in flash. Butts and flash, basically.
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(NNC) - When CNN and YouTube decided to pair up and merge the mediums of television and internet, neither companies quite expected to get all the baggage that comes with user-submitted, online-oriented content. This time, that baggage came in the form of a hidden online secret image, lovingly labeled “GOATSE,” based on the original website “goatse.cx.”

Working on something at work, recently, I came to realize I have a pet peeve. You’ve seen movies, or had friends where someone eats something, (mexican food, etc), for dinner or whatever, and then IMMEDIATELY says ‘omg I have to take a crap,’ or cracks a joke like ‘oh man I don’t wanna sleep in your room tonight!’ Basically implying that what they ate is about to exit their body, somehow, violently from the pooper. The clip from this game I was working on is from White Girls, in which one of the main characters discovers (s)he is eating Quiche, which is made of milk, which I assume (s)he has lactose intolerance. They then run to the bathroom and spend then next five minutes shitting their brains out.

Now, for your pleasure, I have sing The Internets to figure out exactly how long food takes to digest and get pooped out.

The summary is that basically, most food takes a around 24 hours. Things like steak can take up to three days, and pure veggies only (?) take about 12 hours. Not 1 hour, not 5 minutes.

I’m no doctor, but if I had to guess, I would imagine the feeling of needing to go to the bathroom is induced by the added pressure from the food inside of your stomach. It pushed down into your guts, and puts pressure on your colon and lower intestine, making you feel like you have to go to the bathroom.

So yeah, not really a huge pet peeve so much as just a pretty surprisingly common misconception.

Here’s my google search. (Hard, I know.)
how long does food take to digest - Google Search

And now, lots of excerpts from what appear to be reputable Interneters:

If you are talking just about the hamburger meat or if you are talking about a hamburger sandwich with all the trimmings, the answer is about the same. It takes about 24-72 hours for most people’s digestive tract to do its job on the food eaten…depends on the person, the food, the person’s state of health, medications they might be on, their emotions, etc…but, on the whole 1-3 days will completely digest, or break apart, the food.

This can vary — but usually between 24 and 72 hours in healthy individuals. After you eat, it takes about six to eight hours for food to pass through your stomach and small intestine. Food then enters your large intestine (colon) for further digestion and absorption of water. Elimination of undigested food residue through the large intestine usually begins after 24 hours. Complete elimination from the body may take several days.

How long does this vital process take? It depends on what you’re eating, Dr. Oz says. “A steak dinner can take you two, maybe three days to get out of your intestine. What that means is the way you digest it is basically to rot it in your intestines. On the other hand, if you eat vegetables and fruits, they’re out of your system in less than 12 hours.”

Hop on the intestinal train for a food-informative ride. From mouth to anus, your intestinal tract is a 25-foot long disassembly line. Whole food is taken in at one end and waste expelled from the other. Enroute nutrients are taken out of the food and absorbed into the bloodstream according to the body’s needs. The whole process is called digestion. (When things go wrong, it’s called indigestion.)

The stomach holds a little under 2 quarts (1.9 liters) of semidigested food. That food remains in the stomach for three to five hours. The stomach slowly releases food to the rest of the digestive tract. Fifteen hours or more after the first bite started down the alimentary canal (digestive tract, which begins at the mouth), the final residue of the food is passed along to the rectum and is excreted through the anus as feces.

Dear Kandice: Rest assured, it does not take the stomach one hundred years to digest a cherry. It takes about four hours for most of the food from a meal to leave the stomach and be absorbed by the intestine. The hard, round pit, or seed of a cherry, would be more difficult for the stomach to digest. If someone did actually swallow a cherry …

Wtf, 100 years? So yeah, whatever, l2p(oop)

Watch a Family Guy clip, and see if you can guess the quote that comes next!
Fill In The Bank: Family Guy

Who farted? Listen to a fart sound, and try to guess what movie it came from:
http://www.liquidgeneration.com/Media/Games/Quizzes_Puzzles/Movie_Puzzles/Other_Movie_Games/Who_Farted/